The science of data communication has been around for a long time. In the beginning we use tools like the telegraph and telex machines to exchange information via different forms code. The tools we use now Computers and smart phones; weather responding to an email or updating your facebook account we all transmit data least once a day. Our society is more connected than is has ever been but it has come with a price and the price is privacy. In a world of internet information can be found with ease. So the question is how you can protect yourself in world of the internet?
In the article “The net is the world” the author discusses how a lack of internet privacy can turn to real life tragedy. The Article talks about the incident that happened at Rutgers University a few weeks ago in where to college students were arrested on invasion of privacy charges after they where link the suicide of one their classmate. The death was blame on a webcam prank go wrong; in the video the young man Tyler clement was seen in the video with another man. The video was quickly broadcast on his roommate twitter account. A few nights later clement sent out a farewell on his facebook page and jumped off a bridge. If convicted clement roommate Dharun Ravi and his friend molly wei will go to prison. This Incident show how information transmit online can be harmful and that there must be a
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ReplyDeleteI like this CATW because it is straight to the point, simple, and easy to understand. Not many people can use a semicolon properly, that is what makes this CATW stand out to me. The thesis is clearly stated in the first paragraph which sets up the response nicely. I also like that he excluded the less important ideas of the article.He kept his personal opinion out of the summary which was the right thing to do. Overall, the first paragraph is well written.
ReplyDeleteI recommend reading your work out loud before posting it to blogger. This is a trick i learned to help see if there is any missing punctuation. For example, "If convicted clement roommate Dharun Ravi and his friend molly wei will go to prison." If you would've read this out loud you would have noticed that you need a comma after the word convicted. The comma means that there is a pause between the words, this helps the readers understand it easier.
You must check your work for small mistakes like spelling errors and missing punctuation. You should also try to make your CATW longer than two paragraphs. Most of the sentences in the second paragpraph are run-on sentences.
" The Article talks about the incident that happened at Rutgers University a few weeks ago in where to college students were arrested on invasion of privacy charges after they where link the suicide of one their classmate." This is a sentence with more than one main idea. This can easily be turned into three or four sentences instead of just one. Overall, you have the right idea of what a CATW should look like, you're just missing a few key components.
I like that you used examples of ways to communicate, your thesis was clear, and i could tell your summary from your response.
ReplyDeleteI recommend that you expand on your idea, it was easy to understand, and your main point supported with at least two examples.
You must have at least 350 words.
I like your thesis it's short and simple.make sure you proof read your work after your done.i like the whole approach to the thesis.
ReplyDeletei recommend you make your summary short.you dont make sense get straight to the point.you write really long sentences.
you must PROOF READ YOUR WORK and write alot more.